My Life as A Liar

For the first 25 years of my life, I existed in a prison. A prison of an alternate reality. A coping mechanism that led to Munchausen Syndrome and constant lying as a way to deal with anxiety and low self-esteem. 

I entered into marriage as a prisoner to shame. Through Godly mentoring and church discipline, I came to understand the freedom that can come from trusting God even when the potential for pain, to myself as well as those that I loved, was overwhelming. 

Since overcoming this illness over 20 years ago, I've told maybe 5 people my story. Because it's SO HARD to comprehend the depth of the deception. Because I was scared people will look at me differently. Because in a way I was still in that prison.

In a 45 minute talk at The Living Room North at Browns Bridge Church, I told a room of over 150 college students my story. Because it's hard to comprehend the depth of God's grace. Because God looks at me differently. Because by sharing I hope to help someone break out of their own prison.

Things Mentioned during the Talk

Many of you have asked about Brett Trapp's website, Judson Edwards' quote and Rich Mullins' clip. All three of which I reference in this talk. I am happy to provide all of these below:

Brett Trapp - Blue Babies Pink - A 44 Day Southern Coming Out Story

Brett is a great friend. His quote is from Episode 18 on #SOYCD

Secrets are the opposites of plants, which need sunlight, water, and soil to grow.

Secrets thrive in dark, dry, neglected places. The more you neglect them, the healthier they get.

The more you hide them, the more they thrive. The darker you can make it, the bigger they grow.

And secrets hate being talked about. You can injure a secret with vulnerability, poison it with transparency, and handicap it with openness. They shrivel when discussed.
— Brett Trapp

Judson Edwards - Pastor

I first found this quote in a Men's Devotional Bible. My wife had it printed up and framed for me.

Rich Mullins - Irish Sweater Story